Hobos Know How To Party

So, what are you doing for the new year?

Post by Bringing Funny Back.

I'm going to sleep so hard it'll seem like it's still 2012.

Innocent Until Proven Guilty

I didn't do it.

Big Bird is a Hobo

Collecting unemployment or a new career as a door-to-door bird seed salesman -- either way, sounds like a pretty sweet deal to me.  -  Jesus

Historical Facts Are Like Silly Putty

You can twist, mold and stretch the truth. Yes? Spasiba, comrades!

NASA Mars Photo Leaked – Hobo Found on Mars!

Hobos from Mars (not to be confused with Rock Stars from Mars).

The Death of a Culture

Aug. 22, 1920 - June 5, 2012

 You don't have to burn books to destroy a culture. Just give them a Kindle. =P

Drug Sniffing Dog

original pic source: Seth Casteel

Cocaine dog is getting high on his own supply. Every drug sniffing dog has his day.

TSA PSA

You ever seen a Yeti when a dozen condoms of coke burst in his belly?

Completely and Utterly Safe Sex

These days, safe sex isn't just a good idea, it's a matter of life and death. Here are some valuable tips to help you "play it safe"...especially when you might be bumpin' uglies with quite possibly the ugliest of unkempt folk out there in the streets.

*Do not blow dealers for crack; blow regular citizens for cash (or wholesale electronics that you can pawn for cash), then buy the crack directly.

*Think about parents' nude bodies during foreplay; resultant loss of erection will prevent potential unsafe sex.

*Don't fall for lines like, "God protects his servants in the clergy from harm."

*Do not, no matter how many peers may pressure you, allow anyone to get to third base with you.

*Before unsafe sex, think to yourself what the kids will look like.

*Make sure all open sores on penis have thoroughly dried and scabbed over before use.

*When taking four cocks in the ass, make sure to have an equal amount of cock in your mouth to reduce the risk of CHI imbalance.

*Before fellating an anonymous man in the back room of bar, be sure to ask, "You don't have AIDS, do you?"

*Douse penis liberally with D-Con roach spray before penetrating ape.

*You CAN get it from kissing...so be sure to tear out your partner's tongue and spray Lysol in their mouth before any mouth-to-mouth contact.

*To prevent radiation exposure, use only lead-based condoms.

*Before the use of condoms, unroll completely and check for any holes. The easiest way to do this is to inflate them with the power of your lungs...you can also find many available children to do this for you. Just tell them that they are balloons.

*If you must engage in unsafe sex, take time out before hand to hope for the best. Because we all know abstinence isn't always a realistic answer.


Happy (Safe) Fornicating!



**Note that the aforementioned material may or may not work for everyone. It is up to you the reader to exercise caution when having unprotected or protected sex and knowing what the risks associated with those are. If you actually take any of the advice in this article seriously then you need to seek emergency psychiatric help at your earliest convenience and the author(s) take no responsibility for your poor judgment and choices. Good day.

Cool Things I Post on Facebook Since I'm Such a Pimp

Der Übermensch is pretty frickin cool. Although the value of shaving your balls with a tuna can lid should not be underrated. You never know when that skill may come in handy.

Still, I think I should probably have included my 'likes' for First Aid For Dummies and Eunuchs Anonymous pages in that screenshot.

But first I must shave my balls with a tuna can lid. After absorbing tip #391, I believe my knowledge on the complex subject is quite thorough now.

During the intermission, here's a dog raping a cat to porn music:

Adoption Stains

Facebook captcha FAILs

Darn those orphans and their adoption stains!

Now I see why those adoption stains were such a problem.
But at least they found a solution!

Cooler Things I'd Post on My Facebook Wall if I was Taken Seriously as a Film Critic

"As far as Harry Potter characters go, Snarkface MacBumblefuck is particularly intriguing."

What a Day for a Daydream

The Energizer Bunny has nothing on me.

Cooler Things I'd Post on My Facebook Wall if I Made Uber-pretentious Arty Films that Nobody Understands

Change. Got any?

I want to make uber-pretentious arty films that nobody understands, and describe them in a more unimaginably incomprehensible way.

As examples, my artist statement will be so outrageously turgid to read that it would take a team of interpreters from Interpreter Institute at Interpretville to interpret the mess out of it; throw a Vinnie Barbarino at an Elaine Benes and mix in a one-legged monkey on Pixy Sticks and you’ve got your understanding of my gibberish.

I will name drop at least two artists no one's ever heard of, discuss their two vastly differing styles at length, and then claim I occupy the space between those two artists. Where there was once a void is where I now reside, bringing light where there was only darkness.

As a stab at, and to further alienate my audience, I will claim no one understands my ingenuity and that they are dumber, sadder, and less complete for it.

Catchphrases such as "I'm so misunderstood!" or "You people will never understand my genius!" will be used frequently. For good measure I will throw in words like “transcendent” and “evocative” at key points.

Then it’s time to talk about how “freeing” my art is, and how I wish everyone could be as “free” as me with all my “freedom.” I will show real disdain for anyone who doesn’t want to do it, or doesn’t take my art seriously enough to fully realize their center.

Also, get real familiar with the phrase "...but what it’s really about is...” It’s a great way to blow my terrible and/or cliche plot way out of proportion, and is pretentious music to anyone’s ears.

Let’s try it together, “My protagonist is a mime in the 50’s who cries butterscotch and solves crimes, but what it’s really about is a girl’s journey into womanhood.” Or how about, “My book is a revealing look at drug smuggling across the Canadian border, but what it’s really about is the dichotomy between post-industrial colonialism and urban new multinationalism.”

Finally, I shall also insolently declare that I hate fame.

The audience sees only the crap on display as art, but for the artist to be able to produce such works of cow plop, the artist has to make many sacrifices. Art involves none of these qualities: discipline, courage, faith, pure heart, and love. IN FACT, what is needed to produce art is: alcohol, cannabis, pizza, apathy, procrastination, incompetence, and a large helping of general fuckery.


...kind of like this guy:
http://www.carlosdengler.com/


Oh, what happened to you, Carlos?

Inanimate Objects Love Me Even if You Don't

(click to embiggen)

Omnipotent China Red Army Rules the World

And everyone know communist country have no problem with homeless -
They all have job in red army! <3

Weiner Will Rise Again

(click to enlarge)

Have you been hacked by a wiener? Have you been traumatized by Rep. Weiner's penis? It's all part of the prank. So just go with it. Nothing can keep Weiner down for long.

Team America Fuck Yeah

BOOM...HEADSHOT!!!



via krapsody.com

Senator Jon Kyl: "I Eat Aborted Babies. They're Delish."

(Click to enlarge)

With name like Kyl (an expert on examining reality vs. rhetoric), you would think that abortion would come naturally? Great success.

"Turtles All The Way Down"

Hey folks! Having problems staying awake in your 12-hour day of drudgery for pennies on the dollar just to watch your fat cat corporate bosses get rich off the fruits of your labor?


Well you're in luck!


Considering that our friendly, socially aware, and morally conscious federal government has decided to cut spending on fighting methamphetamine production--YOU can score a few tons of the crap to keep you up for weeks--For nothing but your entire lifetime income!


Today is the first day of the rest of your life.

Ahhh...isn't the American Dream just grand?


May this not be the fate of all Daryl Krogen's nationwide from this day forward.

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