Do not attempt to adjust your monitors. I am controlling transmission.
If I wish to make it louder, I will bring up the volume. If I wish to make it softer, I will tune it to a whisper.
I will control the horizontal. I will control the vertical.
I can roll the image, make it flutter. I can change the focus to a soft blur or sharpen it to crystal clarity.
For the next hour, sit quietly and I will control all that you see and hear.
I repeat: there is nothing wrong with your computer. You are about to participate in a great adventure.
You are about to experience the awe and mystery which reaches from the inner mind to — The Completely Out-Of-The-Way Limits.
Apply caution. Do not attempt to drive or operate heavy machinery as vision will be affected. Legal high, self hypnosis. Warning: may cause blurred vision, eyes will explode! CAUTION! I repeat: EYES WILL EXPLODE!!!1 8D
On that note: Ladies and Gentlemen, Jesus has Left the Building.
About Jesus: It's pronounced HAY-SOOS. I'm an illegal alien (from Boston), a hobo, a transient, a homeless person living off of others in Seattle. Me and my friends here at Homeless in Seattle are Hobloggers, or "hobo-bloggers". We shit our pants on a regular basis. It's okay, I'm lactose intolerant..I spend my food stamps on milk and bread. And since I eat lots of government cheese (which is not real cheese), it doesn't bother me much...mostly because government cheese is a hallucinogenic drug. Therein lies the conspiracy against us.
Jesus the Hobo is the shock blogging mastermind of Dr. Julio Grumbles of www.projectjulio.com and Static of www.krapsody.com This blog is pure satire and should not be taken seriously, unless you're a complete fuckwit and have nothing better to do with your time - then please, troll us with your comments! =)