Wednesday, April 4, 2012

Jesus has Left the Building

There is nothing wrong with your computers. 

Do not attempt to adjust your monitors. I am controlling transmission. 

If I wish to make it louder, I will bring up the volume. If I wish to make it softer, I will tune it to a whisper. 

I will control the horizontal. I will control the vertical. 

I can roll the image, make it flutter. I can change the focus to a soft blur or sharpen it to crystal clarity. 

For the next hour, sit quietly and I will control all that you see and hear. 

I repeat: there is nothing wrong with your computer. You are about to participate in a great adventure. 

You are about to experience the awe and mystery which reaches from the inner mind to — 
The Completely Out-Of-The-Way Limits.


Apply caution. Do not attempt to drive or operate heavy machinery as vision will be affected. Legal high, self hypnosis. Warning: may cause blurred vision, eyes will explode! CAUTION! I repeat: EYES WILL EXPLODE!!!1 8D

On that note: Ladies and Gentlemen, Jesus has Left the Building.

Izquierdo I say!


  1. jesus hasn't done a hell of lot for me lately so i don't give a shit that he's left the building.

    1. You might end up eating crow when I return.

      ...I just went to Vegas for the weekend. I hope you like your crow well done.

  2. Jesus has left the building, took one last look at the Space Needle, hitch-hiked up Interstate 5, past Bellingham, past Blaine, across Customs into Canada eh and proceeded to go to downtown Vancouver where he got blottoed with a bunch of hippy freaks in the New Amsterdam Cafe....

    1. Yeah. It makes for a REALLY good story doesn't it? :D

  3. Since you warned me about the exploding eyes and operating of heavy machinery, I, course, made the video full screen, turned the volume on high and used a heavy electric drill to clean out my ears. So far, this hypnotic video has helped me kick the habit of smoking. Unfortunately, though, I can't see because my eyes have busted open and I can't hear myself jack off to the latest sequel to The BackHump of Notre Dame.

    Hmmmm.... Well, in conclusion, I learned that "Izqueirdo" means "left" when translated in English. This valuable info will help me as I walk out into the street, completely blind and deaf and crushed by a speeding semi-truck.

    My cat is typing this for me. Thank goodness for pussy, huh? Good day, sir!

    1. I's so sorry for yo misfortune! But hey, since you're deaf, blind, and DEAD you won't mind if I laugh again! 8D



  4. Not at all. Laughter is good for the soul....less. 8D I pooted.


Me no here. Me go bye. Leave me message. Me reply.

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