Wednesday, September 30, 2009

We're Homeless Goddammit

Ladies and Gentlemen,

Let me introduce you to our plight.
We are considered the lowest common denominator.
We sleep on your inner city sidewalks. We rely on your infrequent charity.
We weep behind abandoned buildings. We survive on the generosity of a select few.

We are the homeless goddammit, and we are no longer willing to be ignored!

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I find it to be a complete dichotomy that Republican and Democrat House Members and candidates of the USA can raise millions of dollars in contributions in such a short time to fund a resistance for/or against health care reform, for/or against a war in foreign "terror"tories, for/or against other obscene and ludicrous agendas that only serve plutocrats.

The capitalist class comprises those who own and control the means of production, the tools, land, factories, and money to invest. Capitalism thrives on the weakest members of it's society. It capitalizes upon and exploits their labors, the working class sells it labor because they have no other means to earn a livelihood.

Slavery has a new definition, a deceptive word that is called employment. And if you don't have that (whatever the reason being) even if through no fault of your own, you don't deserve rights reserved (to varying degrees) for those who do.

It's leaders encourage ugly shout-fests, and almost all politicians do not themselves exactly rant, but they do distort the same, and sometimes they lie...all for the sake of The Almighty Dollar.

But little to none of the same efforts are made for the homeless, the elderly, the mentally ill, or the terminally ill who require cures for their illness and prostration, nor for people suffering worldwide from famine, genocide, and yes, more disease.

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We are disposable people. We might as well be invisible.

But without us, your system would not exist.

This is my response in a public setting to the ridiculous and contemptible tactics world leaders propagate, by encouraging its citizens to consume beyond their means, collecting debt that can never be repaid, and the system grows and maintains this status quo that only serves to alienate its slaves from one another.

By using and harnessing the power of the internets (while freedom of speech is still accepted, and is legal practice, and the web is still largely unregulated) I have since thought that I might not be harsh enough on the denizens of America.

Now you can reinforce the message I give and send an even stronger one.

Stop admiring your diamond rings, and gas sucking SUVs parked in your driveways if you are still lucky enough to own a home. Put down your remote controls. Hang up your newest 'As seen on TV' products, and answer the call.

With the media closely watching both parties' third quarter fundraising totals, nothing would put fear in the hearts of extremists who are propagating nonsense about our world, if we stop paying attention to the subversive tactics and propaganda meant to distract people from looking at the real issues.

The issues being our fellow man, woman, and child. Your neighbor, your waiter, your taxi driver, your convenience store clerk. And those left to fend for themselves, for one reason or another, without food, shelter, security, rights, and in essence devoid of freedoms you take for granted daily.

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Show your support for humanity. If every person donated pennies on the dollar to the charity of their choice, imagine how much money could be raised?

This is what the Internal Revenue Service does. Only it takes involuntary donations. Yet, low income Americans allow the IRS to rob them of their tax dollars every year.

The middle class is not an exception, no matter how untouched and comfortable they think they are. They are just as much slaves to the system as everyone else under a greedy merciless regime who profit off the labor of the disadvantaged.

These same middle and low income citizens allow the Social Security system to rob them blind as they end up paying for someone else's retirement, for which the wealthy pay little or, in most cases, no tax towards whatsoever. Yet most say this system will be bankrupt before the pending retirement of 78 million baby boomers can collect.

The citizens don't see it, or recognize it, or they don't think their voices count.
But even worse, some don't seem to care. That's why we, the few, have to respond.

This is our make-or-break time for humanity. Please give generously, if not your donated time, or money, at the very least - your consideration, as thoughts carry power. And the power of positive thought is unstoppable.

Thank you.


This message brought to you by: We're Homeless Goddammit

Where it is the month of October. It is raining, and some nondescript average little town looks totally deserted. It is tough times, everybody is in debt, and everybody lives on credit.

Suddenly, a rich tourist comes to town. He enters the only hotel, lays a golden note on the reception counter, and goes to inspect the rooms upstairs in order to pick one.

The hotel proprietor takes the golden note and runs to pay his debt to the butcher. The Butcher takes the golden note, and runs to pay his debt to the pig farmer.

The pig farmer takes the golden note, and runs to pay his debt to the supplier of his feed and fuel. The supplier of feed and fuel takes the golden note and runs to pay his debt to the town’s prostitute that in these hard times, gave her “services” on credit.

The hooker runs to the hotel, and pays off her debt with the golden note to the hotel proprietor to pay for the rooms that she rented when she brought her clients there.

The hotel proprietor then lays the golden note back on the counter so that the rich tourist will not suspect anything.

At that moment, the rich tourist comes down after inspecting the rooms, and takes his golden note, after saying that he did not like any of the rooms, and leaves town.

No one earned anything. However, the whole town is now without debt, and looks to the future with a lot of optimism.

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is how the Government is doing business……

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

I'm Julio, Goddamnit!

Hello there. For those of you who don't already know, I'm Julio. Much like Jesus, I am an illegal Mexican immigrant. My name contains five letters and begins with the letter "J" . There is where our similarities end (oh, and we both like buttsecks). Much UN-like Jesus, however, my home is made out of wood and drywall, not cardboard. I also sell t-shirts online, but that's ONLY because the court ordered me to 500 hours of community service.

500 hours of picking up cans off the side of the road, however, is not the way Julio "services" the community. So in addition to giving hand jobs at a local massage parlor, I also sell t-shirts online to support the homeless...and as an added bonus, each shirt comes with a FREE handjob (find me on Craigslist username freehandjob 2333 [freehandjob 1-2332 were taken])!

Wednesday, August 19, 2009

Poetry written on the sidewalk with dried animal feces

the Travelling Poet

I can't afford chalk, so don't balk
at using a thesaurus
rex, king of synonyms and creator of
faux poetry, symmetry without humility,
think you're the best poet, you know it, everyone
pretends to know it, and I know
that you're a hack in an Ivy League wrapper
and everyone knows that wrappers are meant to be
thrown away.



1. water
2. newspaper
3. poo
4. a good idea
4a. preferebly an idea with greater substance and meaning than a goddamn flowery meadow.
4b. preferebly something with a social or philosophical impact, like homelessness for instance, as opposed to some melodrama about a dying relative or some tragic isolated event. How about: a homeless man of color dying from cancer that they got from Agent Orange while serving in the Army during the Vietnam War - how's that for impact?
5. Pre-poem regarding the content of the current poem's outline:
Remember that Chronic issues, long-term problems and future tragedies
are often overlooked
and ignored.
Leave accidents, catastrophes and despicable criminal
acts to the local
more after this commercial break

Sunday, August 16, 2009

My To-Do-List

Hi there.

So not eating for 8 days is totally rejuvenating....
and I've learned that sticking stuff up your bum can make you feel good!

Such as cups of coffee, peppermint tea, warm water, cold water -- puddle water from the street or alley way, wheat grass juice...

YOU name it.

My friend told me a great story about a well known DJ who likes to put other things up HIS bum.

Shampoo bottles, barbie dolls..yep, you name it.

So...must put that on the ‘list of things to do.’

Other things to do when finished juice fasting with enemas:

1) eat

2) maintain short term sobriety

3) finish nursery rhymes album (no wonder I'm homeless!)

4) learn to surf (couches)

5) learn about Hemingway and Havana

6) learn more about female ejaculation

7) give ten dollars a day to the homeless (I’m saving up for a house for myself...selfish!)

8) make a video blog

9) mani pedi

10) buy a house (see #7)

11) lick something salty

12) make more money to buy a house (panhandling) (see #7 and #10)

13) eat 80% raw or fresh meat as opposed to 100% rotten meat

14) kiss a girl/boy for the first time ever!

15) wink at an old old man (maybe he'll be rich!)

16) wear no undies (shucks, I do that anyway)

17) fart near a celebrity

18) fart on a celebrity

19) teach my dog Mandarin Chinese (imagine the price of tickets to see that?!)

20) hug a tree and then continue to put some other stuff up my bum.

There ya have it...hope to get it done before winter!

Saturday, August 15, 2009

Home is where the heart is; in my case, that's the corner of 16th ave.

I didn't ask to be homeless...
okay, so maybe selling pot
to high school kids
with diseases and
who were mentally handicapped
wasn't the best idea. AND
she said she was 18. And maybe I shouldn't have brought
a credit card with me to Vegas. Or to Atlantic City. Or
talked to that loan shark
with the eye patch and
the missing teeth and
4-fingers on each hand,
of which he had one.
What was I thinking...
when I dropped out of High School, and then
community college, and then
regular college.
That drug conviction prevented me from
getting federal school loans. The gambling prevented me from
getting regular loans. And the girl...well, let's just say that I'm not
sorry, nor am I not
allowed within 500 feet of a school, park or
her house or
her parent's house or
my parent's house

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

Ladies and Fentlemen, Jesus has left the building...

...or rather, I've left the two shopping carts and plastic covering that I refer to as my "building" and have entered an actual building known as a "public library." So in reality, I, Jesus, have "entered" the building, not "left" as I previously stated...though I will be leaving soon since the workers here leer at me with disgust and dismay.

It isn't my fault that public libraries are "public," i.e., "free" for anyone. Though since I don't have an address they might say that I don't qualify for the residency requirements for the library, but there is a community P.O. Box at the shelter that allows us to apply for jobs and other activities and services that require a valid address. Beforehand, I would just use the library's address, because let's be honest, who uses "mail" these days anyway. Even Obama said recently that "Fed-Ex and UPS...they're doing great. It's the Post Office that's always having problems."

Thank God there's a T.V. at the shelter, or else I'd have to go back to stealing newspapers and evesdropping on conversations, which you can imagine is difficult for a homeless person due to our distinct characteristics that include (but are not limited to): offensive odor; dirty and/or tattered clothing; basket of misc. seemingly useless objects parked outside of said library; tendency to talk loudly to oneself and/or others.
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