Monday, February 14, 2011

Cooler Things I'd Post On My Friends Facebook Wall If I Had Friends

"Hey, Alex!

Long time, no -see- poke. I've just been surfing couches and stuff. Hanging out at my social networking buddies homes all year long..picking my toenails on their kitchen counters..pooping in their closets..peeing in their refrigerators..sneezing on their pillows..and soiling their bath towels.

So when can I come and visit you in Italy?!"


  1. My friend, with friends like you . . . who the f@%# need enemies?!

  2. You're just mad 'cause you're ugly...and I peed on your couch.

  3. I thought that was your most defining moment, Scuzzbucket.

  4. No, Hobo-piss. It was place I shall never put myself in again. I shoot Hobo on sight from now on.


Me no here. Me go bye. Leave me message. Me reply.

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