Sunday, August 16, 2009

My To-Do-List

Hi there.

So not eating for 8 days is totally rejuvenating....
and I've learned that sticking stuff up your bum can make you feel good!

Such as cups of coffee, peppermint tea, warm water, cold water -- puddle water from the street or alley way, wheat grass juice...

YOU name it.

My friend told me a great story about a well known DJ who likes to put other things up HIS bum.

Shampoo bottles, barbie dolls..yep, you name it.

So...must put that on the ‘list of things to do.’

Other things to do when finished juice fasting with enemas:

1) eat

2) maintain short term sobriety

3) finish nursery rhymes album (no wonder I'm homeless!)

4) learn to surf (couches)

5) learn about Hemingway and Havana

6) learn more about female ejaculation

7) give ten dollars a day to the homeless (I’m saving up for a house for myself...selfish!)

8) make a video blog

9) mani pedi

10) buy a house (see #7)

11) lick something salty

12) make more money to buy a house (panhandling) (see #7 and #10)

13) eat 80% raw or fresh meat as opposed to 100% rotten meat

14) kiss a girl/boy for the first time ever!

15) wink at an old old man (maybe he'll be rich!)

16) wear no undies (shucks, I do that anyway)

17) fart near a celebrity

18) fart on a celebrity

19) teach my dog Mandarin Chinese (imagine the price of tickets to see that?!)

20) hug a tree and then continue to put some other stuff up my bum.

There ya have it...hope to get it done before winter!


  1. You CAN'T be a "real" homeless guy, can you? I should know; I blog about real homeless people all the time. If you were a real hoblogger you'd have a Facebook account or something.

  2. Well guess what.. its quite a coincidence, but I do!

    And what do you know about the homeless Hispanic population?! Have YOU ever made a run for the border? (and I'm not talkin' about Taco Bell, NO)

    Why, if I didn't know any better I'd say you were with INS.


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